Ebook , by Willard F. Harley
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, by Willard F. Harley
Ebook , by Willard F. Harley
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Product details
File Size: 16205 KB
Print Length: 234 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: B005X48Z5K
Publisher: Revell; Revised, Expanded edition (February 1, 2011)
Publication Date: February 1, 2011
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B004HKIIBC
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#18,776 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
We got through 4 chapters over a few weeks and then tossed it in the recycle bin. It reads like it was written in the 1950s.Granted there are some good discussion questions that led to some great conversations between my new husband and me, but it was just nearly intolerable to read.I peeked at later chapters and was outright offended by some things. (as a woman that I know nothing of my own sexuality and that I need to count calories and wear the makeup that my husband prefers. WOW)
I hated this book! It was sexist and degrading. Written by the point of view of a narcissistic man who only had his “needs†in mind. As a woman you should always be ready for sex, or he’ll cheat. always look good, never gain weight, get plastic surgery if your not pretty enoughor he’ll cheat, take care of the kids before he gets home and make sure that they are behaving and looking like perfect little angels while he’s home (because heaven forbid he knows that being a parent is stressful because if you stress him out he’ll cheat. Have a 5 Star dinner ready when he gets home, make sure to bring him sime slippers and a cold beverage so he can watch tv or take a nap while you make sure that the children are not disturbing him, or he’ll cheat. Make sure that you are super interested in all of his hobbies and devote your life to being his perfect companion, or he’ll cheat. Never trouble him with things that trouble you, or he’ll cheat. Wear sexy underwear to bed because if he sees you in unflattering comfortable pajamas he’ll cheat. Make sure you fulfill his every sexual desire, or he’ll cheat. Etc....her needs: bring home a paycheck, who cares if you get fat women don’t care about looks as long as you occasionally shower and brush your teeth! Listen to her (or at least pretend to listen) and give her lots of affection i.e. pat her on the head and tell her what a good girl she is and occasionally throw her a $20 and tell her to buy herself something pretty. Also if you don’t meet ALL of her needs she’ll cheat.Most importantly if your spouse cheats on you it 100% YOUR fault!
I reread this yearly. Always a good reminder of what I need to do for my husband. Don't be concerned about the idea that this book is adultery proofing your marriage. It kind of surprised me at first and then I realized that if one of us lacks something of course we would look elsewhere to fulfill that need (even subconsciously). This book has been so helpful to help us understand each others needs.
This book was recommended by a friend. The first few chapters talk about sex, and how it is a “cure all†so to speak. It gives explicit details about how things work which I felt was very unnecessary and not a good fit for this book. It was very unexpected. The next few chapters are scenarios which are typical ways that people meet each other in life (conversation and excitement) These things don’t have to lead to an affair and won’t if your marriage is healthy. The author suggests that couples basically make things work no matter what by constantly fulfilling the needs of your spouse with no suggestions for fulfilling your own needs such as taking time to yourself etc. The book totally involves fulfilling your spouses needs at all times with zero privacy or time alone. Your partner’s personality and decisions on how to treat you are not something that you can change to make yourself happy. (In other words, you work hard d to fulfill your spouses needs while your own are unmet. How long do you keep going on like that?) The author states that the same problems will arise in the next relationship as well, which I do not believe as the next relationship will not involve the exact same people or personalities. The author calls any affair -friendship -acquaintance just a fantasy and declares they will never work long term. Books don’t know people or feelings and cannot decide if a relationship will work or not. He also ends the book with the fact that people in affairs may honestly love each other. Really????Fantasies are not real but love is so to me that is contradictory. The book is supposed to be about affair proofing your marriage not deciding if you truly love your spouse enough to meet all their daily needs. Affairs are hurtful and wrong. Divorces are difficult, but Life is short, you live once, be yourself, and be happy. I do not suggest this as a book to keep from having an affair, but it MAY better a rocky marriage if both people work to fulfill the needs of their spouse. It is more for someone who has already been a part of an affair.
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